Don’t get lost on LOST

Lost-Season-6-header

The sixth and final season of LOST premiered this Tuesday and with it comes some very important questions that hopefully by the course of this season, will finally be answered. Fans known simply as Losties are probably deciphering at this very moment some of the common questions that linger: what is the Island and its purpose? What role will John Locke play this season? And how come that one guy doesn’t age at all?  One can only hope that show runners/executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse as well as the LOST writing team will give us some if not all of those answers. Still there is one question that they themselves cannot solve.  That question: how am I going to avoid LOST spoilers on Twitter? Not even spinning a huge wheel to make Twitter disappear will work. Not only is that task time extensive but it’s quite implausible.

While we may show more restraint for not wanting to ruin our friends on Facebook with our plethora of status updates, it’s Twitter that is the apex for massive LOST spoilage, what with its fake hash tags that are meant to deceive and spoiler re-tweets that cause even bigger wars than those set on the island itself. And to make matters worse, people actually don’t even watch LOST on Tuesday night! I know shocking.  How awful would it be than to set your DVR, then right after check your Twitter and instantly the first tweet you see, ruins the entire episode for you? Truly awful.

So it seems almost inevitable.  Whether you’re someone from the west coast who won’t see LOST for another three hours or you’re someone who can’t bare the sight of a tweet that includes such words as “Locke,” “OMG,” “yeah…that just happened”, Tuesday nights on Twitter would appear to be unnecessary. Or is it?  I’ve created a few helpful tips to help guide you through this trickery path, which will likely last for a few months. It’s a plan that’s as fail proof like one conceived by Dr. Jack Shephard…wait…

1. Be adamant about your love for LOST – If you haven’t already, write a declarative 141 character tweet that says that you do not want to be spoiled on anything LOST. Your followers (who do watch LOST) will respect your wishes and be sensitive as to how they tweet about LOST. And who knows your tweet might be re-tweeted and you might become an Internet sensation over night. Go you.

2. Find your very own constant – Just how Penny was Desmond’s constant, find someone on Twitter that shares the same love for LOST as you/hated for spoilers. Communicate with them via direct message and have an ongoing conversation that will tide you until 9 p.m.

3. Time is of the essence – One of the key components of the mythology of LOST is time and where you are at any given point. We all know that LOST episodes are all about the shocking opening and cliffhanger finale.  By keeping track of the time and knowing that millions will likely tweet almost instanteously the first and final scenes, avoid your Twitter feed at those times. When the coast is clear you can resume your regular Tweeting routine.

4. Create your very own LOST hash tag that becomes a common Tuesday occurrence: Like Follow Friday or Music Monday, create your own specific LOST hash tag for Tuesday Nights.  You can call it Don’t Spoil Me Tuesdays or #NSLT which stands for No Spoilers Lost Tuesday. In these tweets you and those that wish to type the hash tag will detail what is going on in your lives while LOST is airing. For example: decided to move up Laundry Thursdays to No Spoilers Lost Tuesday #NSLT

5. Spoil American Idol results: It’s only fair.

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2014-04-24 04:21:34